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Unlikely Friendships

I live in a city of 92,000 people. It's lonely. I moved here almost 2 years ago from a small town in upstate NY where I knew most of the people in my town and many in the neighboring communities. The closest city has almost 20,000 people. You can say that everyone knows someone who knows someone that you know - you get it. So, it has been an adjustment to feel connected to my new community.


Luckily for me, I have found some new friends in an unlikely place - Ralph's Grocery Store. This is the grocery store that is about a mile and half from my home. The security guard ( all the stores here have security guards) is almost always there when I happen to need groceries. His name is Paul and he is an older African American man. I had been going there for about a month when he started speaking to me when I would walk in. It was usually just a 'hey there, how are you today?' and I would always respond with a big smile and a response that was usually like 'Oh no, not you again'. As the time has progressed our conversations have become more frequent. He now knows who Julia and Jenna are and chats with them too. He is usually giving them a hard time about something. In our 30 seconds of passing we have become friends. I know that he is married and has kids and he knows about my kids and when I have visitors. One day when I was walking out, he was sitting by the door eating cherries, and without hesitation he offered some to me. Everything a friend would do. I actually find myself looking for him if he is not by the door when I walk in and he always comments when he hasn't seen me in a while.


You might think the story ends there, but it doesn't. I have now become friends with a few of the cashiers. I am sure part of the reason is that they recognize my big head of curly hair, I can be hard to miss! Another reason, and I am convinced of this, is that I make an effort to pay attention to them. I always say hello, and I always refer to them by name. It doesn't take any effort to be friendly, and in fact it actually creates an energy that spreads among the people who are standing close-by. I have noticed that they go above and beyond for me. I almost feel like a traitor when I go to a different store!


Yesterday I went to the grocery store at around midnight - yup, midnight. I have never gone that late before, but the night got away from me and I had to pick up some things for our breakfast and lunch. The first person I saw was of course my friend, the security guard. He was surprised to see me and immediately asked me if everything was okay. I explained my lack of planning led to my late shopping trip and that I was going to be in and out in a flash. I got a similar reaction from Jesus the cashier who checked me out. By the time I was walking out the door it was about 12:30 am and I am not going to lie, I was tired. As I approached the door Paul looked at me with concern and asked if I was going to be okay. ( I must have really looked tired.) I laughed and said that I was fine and that I lived close so I would be home in just a couple of minutes. I walked out to my car and as soon as I had the car unlocked, there he was coming over to me to take my cart back to the entrance. I knew he was just making sure I was okay. As I drove away I was filled with a sense of community and a level of comfort that even in this big city, I have succeeded in creating relationships that matter. I am connected to a group of strangers at a grocery store who I know would have my back if I needed them.


The lesson - relationships fill our soul, bring us comfort and can add value to your life when you least expect it. You can make friends anywhere if you remove judgement and replace it with joy. It's not hard- be friendly, smile and look people in the eyes when you speak to them.


Be Great!

LeeAnne

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